How this skanky ho trapped a man

In my defense,I'm neither skanky nor a "ho" but I thought it doesn't hurt to be naugh-ttay in a blog post once in a while,especially since I have no shot at it in real life.
See that hot girl in five inch heels wrapped around a man?Nope,that's not me.Now look there!See that pretty girl scuffling away in the corner-getting drunker and drunker and shriveling and sniveling-cold and awkward and suddenly a handsome man walks into the room and her eyes light up only to power down his arms around a gorgeous woman's waist-that...isn't me either.

So who the hell am I?Fade out.Scene:Private,laid back,comfortable gathering.Bursts of laughter and see that girl tripping on her own feet carrying out her rookie cullinary conquest in a borosil bowl?That's me.earlier in the evening she probably had had too much too drink but had shown no signs of getting drunk.While sober she'd probably sit on somebody's glasses and snort with laughter.She'll pun away to glory and tell dirty jokes-tease and get teased endlessly about silly things and laugh,and laugh some more.Yep,still me.However,this isn't where I met the said man.Holy mother of-!What was all that about then!Story telling.Simply that.Have you watched Borat*?Hi!My name-a Boorrraaat.I like you.I like syaaax.(sex). No?Yes?(How awesome is Sascha Baron Cohen?Disco dance anyone?)Most of the people I know haven't seen or heard of it and I was rather stoked when this guy(with a creepy,singular eye profile picture) started hooting about it in a rather sophisticated cinema group on facebook.(Oh Facebook-how original,right?).Anyway-hilarious messages were exchanged and countless late night conversations later the talk turned to tattoos.The best studio in town was on a 20 % discount and a lucky draw(which I had no chance of winning but ironically did) and none of my friends were free to either get a tattoo with me(30 % off on couples) or just morally egg me on to good ink and a world of pain.But this guy wanted to,and I was surprised-pleasantly so and for a second it warmed my heart.We made plans and met up the next day.The artist was busy but an appointment was made for the following Saturday and the disappointment quickly faded away into  long walks and kaleidoscopic conversation.We laughed like old friends and opened up with things you'd only dare to with a stranger on a misty park bench you're sure you'll never meet again.It was the most effortless time I had had spent in months.This was February.Fast forward to May-I was totally in sync with him.He was knowledgeable,had great taste in music and movies and was the coolest guy I have ever met.Not leather jacket,gum chewing douchey cool- but genuinely so.Not to mention a totally rad sense of humour.Nothing about my horrible relationship seemed to put him off.The word soul-mate had come up not too casually.He read my blog.Found it "pretty good".An expressed interest in my blog always scores with me-because when I do,I put in a lot of myself in this e-paper and ink duo.I earned a new nickname-"bloggie"-and it made me smile.One day as I was stuffing my external hard drive with movies at his place,he kissed me.And it was honest.Both of us were smarting from tumultuous previous relationships and neither was sure about the possibilities of getting into another one.But as luck has it-your head is only logical when your heart's in it and our's were pretty into the other's.Two weeks later he told me that he loved me.And I'm glad that he did-because of how incredibly afraid I am of taking the first step.We celebrated six months of togetherness on October 21st and it has never been better.Sure we fight-name a couple who doesn't?And I'm more whiney than I'd like to be and I'm a monster sometimes when I'm PMS-ing(or even if I'm not,sometimes)-but gladly that has only gotten better with time and not worse.He is tolerance level-not the whining.He is a good,good man.He is dependable and honest and trustworthy.He is the kind of guy you could ever libel even if you are no longer together.Sometimes I wonder what the hell is it that he sees in me?And more than once I'm scared that my cons would outweigh my pros and he would pick up and leave.But he has this air of reassurance that I can only relate with my father and that just lifts the weight off my heart.I am clumsy-I take on more than I can handle and things fall apart and I screw stuff up.But I refuse to take this  as a challenge -How long can Clumsy keep her Relationship Afloat?It's-nothing and everything.It' a happy,happy thing.

Let's put a face to that name-Friends,meet Sam/Bug

And he is Bug,because he is so impishly cute.

And a tad insane..

crazy makes us tick.we also do grainy webcam photos,thank you very much.and it's really hot where we live.

I've showed you mine.Now you show me yours.Now,now!There's a little box below..or email me swetablogs@gmail.com.No really,I am interested :)*Borat is not recommended if you're easily offended. 

Lazy and Happy{Birthday}

If you looked at 70 p.c of the posts on this blog you'd find "lazy" woven in somewhere.Maybe not so explicitly,but some form of action or words that imply and point at,well, "lazy".As much as I'd hate to admit,I'm a pretty laid back person.But that doesn't mean irresponsible.I do get my work done in time.But sometimes I feel I lack that punch that would startle me into action.Like this week,it was a crazy one with going back to college and catching up after staying home for weeks after my eye surgery.I felt like blogging about it.I had lots of inspiration.Instead, I either slept or over indulged in Two and a Half Men when I wasn't too damn tired.I got none of my art work done.No blogging or commenting done.Since Paypal is playing a crazy bluff game with me  I couldn't confirm my account and consequently never got to set up my shop.My nerves were on edge.Titchy.


The only thing that kept me sane through this week was my bo-
Wait,did I tell you about the guy I'm seeing  hopelessly in love with, who's eerily like my father?Well,it's pleasantly awesome when it's not creepy.(Seriously,even the handwriting :O )Kidding.He's pretty much shabang.Probably Definitely the best guy I've met so far who's creepy and cool enough to be like a brother,father,best friend apart from being a {great}partner.Oh no,he has his flaws probably,definitely, but none that jumps at you and hints  at a  probable hamartia.Let's just say he is one of those guys whom you can't call an asshole among your girlfriends when you're no longer dating him.Rare,right?Well let's just hope I don't screw it up.
Let's call him S.The cleverest reason I can think of calling him so is because his name starts with S.Trivia:Most of the people,well important people, in my life have names starting with S.This could be a problem in blog anonymity.I am a S myself.I'm very important to me.
Anyway,Saturday(the 3rd) was his birthday and we had the day to ourself :) He recorded a song for me on my birthday..and I wrote an epic fail poem for him,which he surprisingly liked.We sat beneath our tree(yes we have a tree) and he got bombarded by poop,but we managed to have a good time.Obviously we clicked silly pictures :)

Happy Birthday,S.You mean a lot to me.You are such an annoying git.You poke.You pinch.You kid.You advice.You motivate.Thank you so much. Love you.

30 days of Truth # 3- Objection over-rule,over-ruled

Dear  Mr.Hade(Head),



I know you have been pacing the corner office for long,it's a miracle you haven't slipped on the polished floor that reflects back-your good and bad and sometimes unfairly threatens to make you fall smack on your ass.Power to you for holding up with dignity-I know how difficult it is since you are programmed to be a schmuck.But you rise above.I know the juvenile creature down below sometimes makes it difficult for you.And I know I often go with her.She can be silly at times,so silly that she feels rattling the ceiling with the butt of her broomstick is going to make you go back on your word. I know I have been hard on you that time,and many other times-but that time the most.I almost went back on my word and was about to dive head-first into the murky funk again.I'm glad you do most of my thinking for me,for Miss Hart(Heart) can be way too melodramatic and blind for her own good.I'm sorry I doubted your intentions when you whispered and then blew the trumpet in my ear,telling me to live for me  and to get the hell out-for nothing really comes out of a relationship where you are the standing circus freak with a tattered motley.I need to forgive you and me both, for the ongoing battle that we waged on my sanity,for doubting the best decision you helped me make in my life.I've hurled profanities at you and myself-delusional and lost.I have no idea what really went on there for 4 years-or,let's just say I did and was probably too high on something nasty to actually SEE it.Your solicited advice has made me realize that no matter where and with whom, in a relationship when you are willing to change too much of yourself for acceptance-it's time to question your value in it,and the impact it has on your life.The rest is unwanted territories I don't wish to cross at this moment,but I'm grateful that you were with me through them.Thank you for holding up my train through the murk and not stuffing my face back in the stifling clay where it often deserves.I have one more thing to ask of you-forgiveness, if you will-for the bitching,for driving you up the wall at odd hours,the repeated and unlawful attempts to silence you.I had even considered one of Mrs. Lovett's pies out of spite.I have forgiven myself.I had aid,yes,yours most of all.And,to answer your question-yes I'm happy.
Yours truly,The Landlady

Dear Miss Hart,
I'm sorry you lost this one.But I need you to stay with me.
Sincerely yours,The Landlady