..involves many people who aren't family per se,like,all that menacing
familia first blood-tie things.Oddly enough they have been more of a family than my real family has been.I've known most of them all my life and some very recently.Those I've known since childhood,we hardly get to speak as much as we used to - but there's this thing of familiarity that hasn't worn off.I wouldn't speak of everyone in that mode of colour-it's just that some of them have actually taken the effort to revolve in a ring of constancy,of familiarity and at the same time developing a lot of elasticity.They have grown up,gone up,up and away but never have we grown apart as such.It's a strange mixture of seeing yourself and your probable kids' grow in
them.
As Yeats would affirm-childhood and adulthood are a part of that impeccable continuity and reality that can neither be broken nor refuted.As a child,even though we aren't aware,we are moving each day towards adulthood and as adults our childhood have been a concrete part of our lives.As kids we would point to a thing that fascinated us and in a dreamy voice full of awe words like.. "One day.." would tumble out.Maybe some of us has reached that day.Some of us are still living out of one suitcase on the road of that search.Some of us have probably walked or slept through it.Amazing thing is that somewhere on that road,I've found atleast one of them winking or dropping out of a tree,just because.And that makes me happy.
And speaking of bizarre,my "father" is now my "in a relationship with" guy.It doesn't make me feel weird,or awkward.He isn't 15 years older than me,neither is he condescending,nor does he pretend to have a better understanding of everything.We make mistakes,we learn,we help each other and confide in each other.I'm crabby and bitchy at times.He is touchy and quick tempered at others.And sometimes these times overlap,and those aren't the best.But we move past it,in a world where we are aware how much we mean to each other.I tell that to him all the time,he speaks through actions.He wears the same cologne as my dad,writes in the same script,speaks in the same manner and has that similar down-to-earth attitude that I sometimes detest and at others am head over heels in love with.Maybe it's this feeling of familial recognition(ironically) that I gravitate towards Sam.Maybe not.However,it didn't just spring up-he had to act like it.And I wouldn't change a thing about it.I like how we are and I bet there are miles to go before we sleep,and I know that we would at times impatiently paw at the ground,maybe tickle our guts out,pr maybe even not talk to each other for a couple of days.But I also have a feeling that we would be holding hands through all of it.
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| excuse us while we do The Funny. |
Phew,look at that.I had meant this post to be on the funny side,but once I got into it, I ended up smack dab on my serious ass.Does that ever happen to you?
